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Post by Isabella Marie Swan on Dec 7, 2010 2:07:07 GMT -5
IF I LAY HERE
[/size][/color] (if I just lay here)----------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----------------------------------------------------------------------------FORGET WHAT WE'RE TOLD, BEFORE WE'RE OLD(just forget the world)[/font][/size][/center]
Bella sighed slightly as she sat up in her bed. It was a little pass 11pm and again, she found herself unable to sleep. It was him, lately he was all she could dream about, all she could think about...what was it about him that captivated her?
She shook her head, swinging her feet over the side of her bed and got up slowly. It was dark in her room and she didn't want to risk falling over and waking anyone up, though that was exactly what she planned to do anyway, wake someone up.
It took her a minute to find the small pull string on her bedside lamp but when she found she turned it on, smiling when the room brightened and she could see more clearly.
It was with another deep sigh that she made her way quietly out of her room and down the small hallway to Alice's room "Alice?" she whispered through the door, knocked once "Alice, are you asleep? I need to talk to you...its important." she spoke before lightly pushing open the door to her sisters room.
Their rooms were very different, Bella's room was dark, deep shades of purple and blues everywhere...even her wardrobe had more purple and blue than it should but Alice's room always looked like someone out of an Ikea catalog.
Making her way into the room, she shut the door lightly behind her, moving to her sister's bed and sat at the edge, tapping her sisters foot "Alice...I need to talk to you...please?" she hoped her sister would be helpful in her time of need, that she would have some piece of wisdom that would help her out of this situation she'd gotten herself into.
Engaged to Jacob and yet the only person she could think of was Edward. It didnt make sense, not one bit. She was confused...her time with Edward in the forest was quite possibly one of the best days of her life. Though one moment played in her mind over and over like a movie on replay. The moment when he caught her, stopping her from falling. When he held her so close she felt his breath against her neck...his arms were strong but he held her so carefully, gently...and his smile, she was fairly certain he never smiled in school or anywhere else until that day in the forest...when the two of them were alone.
Aaaaaliiiice?" she spoke in a bit more of a whiny tone.
tagged?!---Alice
wearing?!---this[/url][/font][/size][/center][/blockquote] |
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Post by Mary Alice Swan on Dec 9, 2010 19:10:08 GMT -5
 *****"He's got to be around here somewhere Ali." Brittany said as she and Alice ascended the stairs of her house looking for Alice's boyfriend who had mysteriously disappeared some time during the party. Alice felt somewhat bad that she had no clue when her boyfriend had gone missing but now that she had noticed he was missing she found herself wondering where exactly the Fork's High starting quarterback had disappeared off to.
"He's probably hugging one of the toilets up here or he's passed out in one of the rooms." said before the two friends began to laugh at the most likely scenario. Checking all the two bedrooms and one of the bathrooms, the girls were on their way to Brittany's parents room when they heard a girls moan. The two friends eyes widened as they looked at each other and Brittany giggled softly as she said: "He's not up here but lets see who is."
Alice was shaking her head but Brittany had already taken a step forward and was pushing open the door. Curiosity getting the better of her, Alice made her way forward and along with Brittany the two girls peeked into the room before their jaws dropped. Pushing the door all the way open, Brittany exploded as Alice just stared at the sight of her boyfriend with some La Push slut all tangled up in the sheets of Brittany's parents bed. Unable to say anything, Alice turned and ran down the hall as she heard Brittany screaming behind her.
Not slowing down, Alice ran out of the house and had only taken a few steps outside of the door when she suddenly found herself away from Brittany's house and in the meadow. Looking around, Alice wondered what she was doing there until she heard the sound of a twig breaking. Turning to look in the direction of the noise, Alice narrowed her eyes slightly as she stared at the glittering figure making it's way towards her. Rubbing her eyes, Alice looked up again to see Jasper making his way towards her looking the same as he had the day she'd met him. A smile formed on her lips as he made his way directly towards her then pulled her towards him. Looking up at him as Jasper held her close, Alice felt her heart racing as he brushed the fingers of his free hand over her cheek. As Jasper leaned in towards her, Alice closed her eyes and moved towards him. She could feel his breath on her lips and felt her heart stop just before his lips pressed against hers.
"Aaaaaliiiice?"
Moaning softly as her sister's voice cut through her dream, Alice tried to move herself under her covers but felt the pressure of her sister sitting at the edge of her bed. Groaning softly, Alice rolled over on to her back and in a voice that was both tired and laced with a small amount of annoyance, Alice groggily said: "I swear Bella, if the house isn't on fire I'm going to kill you for ruining that dream."
Slowly opening her eyes, Alice looked around her dark room before pushing herself up slowly and leaning forward a bit. With her arms resting on her knees, Alice gently rubbed her face and felt her dark hair fall down around her face before she looked up at her sister with a look that clearly said: this better be damn important or your dead. "What's up?"
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Post by Isabella Marie Swan on Dec 10, 2010 9:15:37 GMT -5
IF I LAY HERE
[/size][/color] (if I just lay here)----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------FORGET WHAT WE'RE TOLD, BEFORE WE'RE OLD(just forget the world)[/font][/size][/center]
"The house isnt on fire. Just wake up."Bella spoke impatiently, grabbing her sister by the leg and shook her constantly until she finally woke up. She stopped and moved her hands away, happy once she saw Alice pushing up of the bed. She wasnt too sure how to tell Alice or if she even wanted to but it was either tell Alice or tell their mom and that was soemthing she did not want to do.
She sighed, biting her lip and ran a hand through her hair and looked up at her sister wth a small frown "I dont think I can...m-marry Jacob..." she paused, knowing she would need to say a bit more than that. She frowned, leaning forward and turned on the lamp by alice's bed I-its not that I dont love him or anything, its just...I can't stop thinking about Edward." she admitted, in a very small voice. She hated herself for even thinking about not marrying Jacob, for thinking about leaving him for a guy she knew absolutely nothing about.
I-I dont want to marry Jacob, Alice...we're seventeen for crying out loud. We're not even out of high school and we're planning a future together? It's insane!" she almost screamed the last part of her sentence, looking as if she were about to have a panic attack "And I can't tell Jacob because he'd be heartbroken. I can't hurt him but i-im not okay with marrying him...I think im falling in love with Edward." she whispered, knowing that by admitting this, she was quite possibly ruining everything she had...her life with Jacob...everything, ruined. Because of him.
tagged?!---Alice
wearing?!---this
notes?!---sorry its kinda short, my shoulder hurts[/blockquote] |
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Post by Mary Alice Swan on Dec 10, 2010 10:13:47 GMT -5
***** Alice stared at her sister with disbelief clearly written on her face. Bella had woken her up for this. Glancing over at her nightstand, Alice checked the time on her alarm clock before looking back at her sister. It was just after two in the morning and Bella had woken her up because she was having cold feet about a marriage that wasn't even supposed to be taking place any time soon. If Bella were getting married the following day then Alice could understand why her sister would wake her up in the middle of the night but as of yet there was no date set and Bella had just ruined the best dream Alice had had since the day she had walked in on her ex cheating on her. For once her nightmare hadn't ended with Alice surrounded by students who laughed at her and the one time her nightmare looked like it was taking a positive turn, Bella had cut it short. Where was she on the nights Alice had wanted her nightmare to be cut short.
"Ok first Bella you have to calm down. You're going to give yourself a heart attack if you keep stressing out about minor things like this. The wedding is not tomorrow so there is more then enough time for you to figure things out." Alice said as she fought to remain rational while wanting to yell at her sister for waking her up over something so unimportant. Then again a small part of her felt guilty for being so upset with her sister since like Bella, Alice was finding herself attracted to a guy she had only met once. Unlike Bella however, Alice was not thinking about throwing away years of a friendship as well as a relationship with somebody over a person she had just met.
"Second, listen to yourself Bella. You just met a guy and know absolutely nothing about him but you think you're in love with him. Honestly Bells, it doesn't sound like love to me. It sounds like you're scared to get married and are looking for any excuse to get out of it. Remember when I told you that you were too young to be getting married and to be planning a future with somebody? You told me that age is nothing but a number and you knew that you and Jacob were meant to be together." Alice said before covering her mouth as a small yawn escaped her lips. Arching her back and stretching, Alice let her hands come to rest on her lap as she looked at her sister again. She had known from the beginning that Alice would panic as the wedding drew nearer but she wasn't going to let her sister throw away everything she loved just because of one moment of weakness. She knew Bella would hate herself if she hurt Jacob to begin with but if she hurt Jacob then realized she was wrong things would be so much worse.
"If you want to then talk to Jacob. Put off the wedding but I wouldn't end things with him unless you are absolutely, and I mean one hundred percent certain that he couldn't make you happy." Alice said as she stared at her sister. The truth was that after her ex had cheated on her with a girl from La Push, Alice had turned anti Quileute really fast. She had wanted nothing to do with anybody from La Push and the fact that her sister was marrying a guy from there had irritated Alice like crazy. It had taken her awhile to be able to talk to Jacob without venom in her voice and the fact that she was actually having her sister stop to think about breaking up with him showed how much progress Alice was making in that area. Had Bella come to her a couple months ago with this problem then Alice would have been pushing for her sister to break up with the guy. "After everything you two have been through together, you owe it to Jacob to really think this through Bella. You can't just call off the wedding and break his heart because you think you love another guy. This honestly just sounds like cold feet to me and you know every bride experiences them."
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Post by Isabella Marie Swan on Dec 10, 2010 12:45:48 GMT -5
IF I LAY HERE
[/size][/color] (if I just lay here)----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------FORGET WHAT WE'RE TOLD, BEFORE WE'RE OLD(just forget the world)[/font][/size][/center]
"No, Alice...i-im not stressing over anything. Im not stressed. Im fine. I just dont think I can go through with this." Bella spoke, shaking her head and denying anyhting being wrong. In truth she might have been abit nervous, maybe even a little scared of marrying Jacob but she was perfectly fine with the idea of spending the rest of her life with him. She loved him dearly. He was hers and nothing, absolutely nothing could change that...well, at least she seemed to think so.
"Your not listening to me, Alice. Im not scared of marrying Jake, I dont think I can marry him. This isnt me freaking out or getting cold feet or just me trying to put off the wedding, this is me trying to tell you that the other day I was this close..." she held up two fingers, indicating with her thumb and her index, making a slight pinching motion "To kissing Edward in the forest the other day..."
She sighed, looking up at her sister for a moment and then frowned "Postpone the wedding? how would that help me with the fact that I cant stop thinking about Edward? I cant just marry Jacob and act like everything is fine when while im with him all I think about, all that I want is Edward." of course, as usual, there were tears in her eyes. It wasn't a secret that along with frustration and almost every other emotion, she tended to cry but this time...this time she had an actual reason to cry.
Bella made a face, almost feeling like giving in. Alice would never let her break it off with Jacob. Jake was a good choice, a perfect match for her...they'd been together for so long 'soulmates' is the word some people used to describe them. She doubted Alice would ever let her leave Jacob for Edward, it wasn't the logical thing to do.
She sucking in her bottom lip to keep it from trembling and bit down on it before nodding her head lightly "Okay...okay, and... lets say it is cold feet, h-how would that explain the...not being able to breath, think...I can hardly move when im with Edward...he- hes so...annoying and aggrivating but he's..." she went quiet, realizing she was babbling and probably not making much sense.
tagged?!---Alice
wearing?!---this
notes?!---sorry its kinda short, my shoulder hurts[/blockquote] |
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Post by Mary Alice Swan on Dec 10, 2010 21:31:42 GMT -5
***** "He's mysterious and alluring." Alice said as she finished off her sister's sentence for her before letting out an agitated sigh. She really couldn't believe that she was here having to explain guys to her sister in the middle of the night. Why hadn't Bella ever paid any attention to the things that Alice had told her over the years. It wasn't that Alice had anything against Edward, it just sounded to her like he knew how to play the relationship game while Bella was still a novice at it. The only guy outside of her friends that Bella had ever gotten close to was Jacob so she had no idea the games some guys played to get with a girl. Having hung out with guys who knew how to play the game, Alice knew what to look for and to her it just seemed like Edward was playing the mysterious, distant guy to get a naive, innocent young girl like Bella to fall for him.
"Think about it Bella. Every girl loves a mysterious man. They love the thrill of something unknown. Aside from the fact that he recently moved to town with his father and his brother, what do we know about Edward?" Alice said as she tried to think of how she wanted to phrase what was going through her head. She really hated being the middle man in this and part of her wished her sister had kept this to herself. Alice had nothing against Jacob but she had tried to talk her sister out of marrying Jacob when Jacob had first proposed but at that time Bella had every argument under the sun to tell Alice why marrying Jacob was the right thing to do. Now it looked like Bella had every argument under the sun to explain why it wasn't the right thing to do. In the end Alice knew the choice was her sister's and given the way Bella was acting, Alice was pretty sure that Jacob was going to get hurt just so her sister could go off and make out with the new guy.
"I don't have to explain anything Bella. You do." Alice said simply as she shrug her shoulders and looked her sister in the eye. "You'll have to explain to Jacob why suddenly out of nowhere you love Edward. You have to explain to Jacob why you want to call off your guys wedding so that you can make nice with the new guy. All I can tell you is that everything you're describing to me sounds like cold feet on your part and seduction on his. I've told you before you have to be careful when it comes to guys since most guys know just what to do or say to get a girl to fall head over heels for them and guess what Bells, you're falling for it. If I were you I would seriously, and I mean seriously think about what you're going to do before you do it. If you end your engagement with Jacob for Edward then you're going to lose Jacob and there's no guarantee that you'll get to keep Edward. There's no guarantee that you won't be just a passing fling for him that he'll throw aside as soon as he gets tired of you and you'll be left with nothing but a hole in your heart that's he's ripped out."
Alice knew she probably sounded bitter but having experienced being cast aside by her ex, she'd be damned if she let her sister walk headlong into the same mistake. She wanted Bella to seriously think about everything she was going to be throwing away if she left Jacob for Edward. Not only was she throwing away her engagement and their relationship, but she would be throwing away a lifelong friendship. Alice wanted Bella to make sure she considered everything before she broke the heart of the man she claimed to love.
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Post by Isabella Marie Swan on Dec 19, 2010 9:24:34 GMT -5
IF I LAY HERE
[/size][/color] (if I just lay here)----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------FORGET WHAT WE'RE TOLD, BEFORE WE'RE OLD(just forget the world)[/font][/size][/center]
Bella made a face as Alice finished her sentence. She always hated that, it wasn't because it wa annoying, it was because every time Alice finished her senetences, she was always right. Though Bella was certain that what she felt for Edward wasn't just because of the mystery of it all. Besides she'd already figured out most of what he was hiding. How many secrets could one guy have?
"I know alot more about him than you do..." she spoke, biting her lip.
She knew it was true though, she knew Edward more and better than anyone at school. The two spoke for hours at a time. He'd walked her home the other day and weather they spent their time talking or in complete silence, it was always perfect. She always felt right when she was with him. Edward was perfect, amazing and absolutely flawless in every sense of the word. He could have any girl he wanted and yet every day, surrounded by beautiful and gorgeous girls at school, his attention was always on her.
As her sister spoke, Bella felt more and more confused...was Edward really playing her? And she was falling for every thing he said? No, he didnt seem like the guy to do that. Her eyes snapped wide open the second Alice finished talking Edward wouldnt do that..." she whispered, her heart pounding against her chest but she knew she wouldnt win this argument. Alice could be very stubborn when she chose to be. She was stubborn tin arguing with her about why she shouldnt marry Jacob and now she was trying to convince Bella that she should marry Jacob.
She frowned and nodded her head a bit "Okay...if I choose Edward, Jake gets hurt...what if I choose Jake and Edward gets hurt?" she muttered, sounding confused as ever. She just didnt know what to do, no matter who she chose, someone got hurt.
tagged?!---Alice
wearing?!---this[/url][/font][/size][/center][/blockquote] |
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Post by Mary Alice Swan on Dec 19, 2010 11:52:57 GMT -5
***** "No Bella. You think you know him more then I do. You may have talked to him a few times more then I have Bella but that doesn't mean that you know him." Alice said as she watched her sister. She wanted to shake her to try and get some sense into her but she knew that wouldn't work. When Bella had her mind set on something then it stayed set on that. Unless Alice could come up with physical proof that Edward was a bad guy, Bella would believe he was this perfect man that he was portraying himself to be. Of course Alice didn't know for sure if Edward was a bad guy but she wasn't going to let her sister throw away everything she had before she really got to know the guy.
"And how do you know he wouldn't do that? You haven't known him long Bella so there's no way you can know for certain that he wouldn't or wouldn't do that. You don't know anything about him except for what he's told you about him which means you hear only what he wants you to hear." Alice said as she let out a sigh of exasperation. She felt as if she were pounding her head against a rock for all the good this talk was doing her.
"What if Edward gets hurt?" Alice said her eyes widening in surprise. Was her sister really comparing her new found relationship with Edward to her lifelong relationship with Jacob. Letting out a soft laugh of disbelief, Alice shook her head as she looked down at her covers before she looked up at her sister again sympathetically. She thought her sister was completely naive for believing everything Edward was throwing at her and because of it she felt sorry for Bella.
"Bells you've only just met Edward. I really don't think he'll be hurt as much as he'll be upset. You picking another guy over him would be a blow to his male ego but I highly doubt if he's going to be broken up about it." Alice said softly and in what she hoped was an understanding tone. She didn't want her sister to hate her but she needed her sister to remember everything she had told her so Alice continued. "Remember what you told me when I asked you why you were marrying Jacob? When I told you that you were too young to be getting married. You told me that you were marrying Jacob because you loved him and because you couldn't picture your life without him. I stopped asking you to call off your marriage because of the conviction and the sincerity I heard in your voice when you said that. Now you're ready to throw away his love? Now you can picture your life without him in it? This decision is ultimately yours to make Bella. Whatever you decide you know I'm going to support you. I just want you to know exactly what you're giving up and exactly what you might be starting if you do choose Edward."
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Post by Isabella Marie Swan on Jan 13, 2011 9:51:23 GMT -5
IF I LAY HERE
[/size][/color] (if I just lay here)----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------FORGET WHAT WE'RE TOLD, BEFORE WE'RE OLD(just forget the world)[/font][/size][/center]
Bella knew she was being annoying, knew that she shouldnt have woken Alice up. If anything, this would make things worse. Alice would try and convince her that Edward was a bad guy and Edward, being as stubborn as he is will most likely play a jackass to get Alice ot believe that were true. That he was bad or mean...bt she knew, Bella knew he was far from mean or cruel, he couldnt ever be a bad person.
Bella brought her hand up to her lips, biting her finger nails out of habit and listened to Alice as she spoke. She trusted Alice's judgement and advice more than anything but not this time, not when she knew her sister was wrong.
When Jacob was brought back up in the conversation, Bella's heart sank. Her eyes had softened, less determined. She frowned "Alice..." she began but paused, her breath caught in her throat. Jacob was a good guy, she was marrying the most amazing person she'd ever met and here she was ready and willing to break up with him, to call off the wedding and for what? a relationship that would be doomed? Edward was a vampire, he couldnt age, he couldnt get old and Bella was human, a human who, with time with grow old...wither and die.
"I...okay, okay...your right. Im just being an idiot. I just- im just a bit nervous...I mean, after graduation...i-its not that far away. I do love Jake..." she half smiled....she also loved Edward but Alice had a point. She'd known Jacob her whole life and Edward, he'd just come into her life. Maybe it wasnt worth it.
tagged?!---Alice
wearing?!---this[/url][/font][/size][/center][/blockquote] |
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Post by Mary Alice Swan on Jan 13, 2011 10:11:10 GMT -5
***** "I know with the wedding getting closer you've got to be a nervous wreck but just remember why you're marrying Jacob and the nerves will go away. Every time you mentioned how you loved the feeling of his fingers running through your hair or running over your skin it made me wanna gag but at the same time I had to smile. Any time you feel those nerves surfacing remember all those sappy comments you've made to me over the years about him and you'll be fine." Alice said with a smile as she lifted her hand and brushed a stray strand of her sister's dark hair out of her face. She felt like a complete bitch for being so harsh on her sister but if it helped her sister see reason then Alice would do it again in a heartbeat.
"Jacob would give up his life for you Bells. He even took a bite of those ridiculous mud pies that the two of you when you were kids because you asked him to. How many guys would do something like that for you?" Alice asked as she took her sister's hands and gave them a gentle squeeze. Alice wanted her sister to be happy and she honestly believed that Jacob was her sister's best shot at happiness. He would give her the world if she asked him to and Alice could only hope that someday she found a guy who would do anything for her like Jacob did for Bella.
"Why don't you and Jacob get away for a bit Bella? Why don't the two of you go camping or something for a weekend. Maybe these feelings you think you have for Edward is just your hearts way of telling you that you haven't been spending enough time with Jacob?" Alice said with a slight shrug of her shoulders. Smiling at Bella, Alice hoped her sister would do just that. She knew that during the school year Bella and Jacob didn't get to spend as much time together as they would like to so she hoped that maybe if the two of them went away for a bit with just the two of them then things would clear up for Bella and this whole Edward phase she seemed to be in would pass.
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